First time her blood was shed. Strangely poignant.

Even though she's walking, she's still pretty wobbly and at times it seems that she simply falls even though nothing is in her way. I believe she tripped over a bit of raised sidewalk. Poor little monkey. She fell down and then was unable to use her hands to ease her fall so her upper lip did it for her :(

Her knees were fine.

Her elbows were fine.

Her hands were fine.

Her mouth not fine. In fact when I looked at her mouth she was bleeding. And yes, it totally scared me! She's never shed blood before! There was a lot of blood in her mouth and at first sight it looked a lot worse than it was. I got some napkins soaked them in water and wiped her little mouth. I was surprised by how quickly she stopped crying and she happily started to suck the water out of the napkin. 

Well that eased me a bit. 

This was the first hint of what it feels like to see your child in pain, or at least watch blood spill. My heart had an ache that I could not even put words to. As was nursing her to nap, it hit me all at once and I cried. I cried because my desire is for her to not bleed, physically, emotionally or spiritually. My desire is to have her avoid pain. Of course that's not possible. I know there will be other times when she is hurt more deeply. I only stayed in the place for about a minute or so because Hunter was in a really good place, sticking her little fingers up my nose and giggling about it :) 

May I be able to support her and help her through it as best as I can. May I get out of her way. May I get out of my own way. 

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For today's lesson: who are you trying to please? Whether we know it or not, there are probably bleachers full of people who are watching every move we make, all the time, in our own minds. Who sits in your bleachers? The relative who once told you she thought your kids were whiners? The mail carrier who made some comment once? The friend whom you admire so much that you try to be like him? The author of that book?

These are your INFLUENCERS. Consciously or unconsciously, these people have a say.  When you are making a decision or taking action based in reaction to one of those influencers, then what is the impact?

If the action or decision does not line up with your authentic self, and is instead a reaction, then you are likely to be agitated, irritated, impatient, angry, aggressive.

I found this blog post one of the best that I've read in a while. It's pretty interesting how becoming a parent we always end up having folks on the bleachers, interrupting our psyche, and blocking our natural authentic instincts, influencing us at every turn. May I venture to say that that influence is not for the best?

I'm not saying that we don't need each other, and that we should always do what we want regardless...but, check out who those people are that you have bequeathed great power over your unconscious choices.

This blog post is a must read. I would have Kris on my bleachers any day!

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